Jokes

Taj Mahal ko dekh kar
bola shahjahan ka pota..

Taj Mahal ko dekh kar
bola shahjahan ka pota..

Aaj apna bhi bank balance hota
Agar dada aashiq na hota!

Santa ke lips jale hue the

Banta: Kaise jale

Santa: Wife ko railway station drop karne gaya tha.

Banta: To?

Santa: Khushi ke mare, Train ke engine ko choom liya !!!

Platform par dher saara samaan liye khadi ek aurat se coolie ne puchha:

Madam, Coolie chahiye?

Aurat ne badi vinamrata ke sath jawab diya:

Nahin bhaiya, Mere pati mere saath hain!!

Santa aur Banta 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye

Santa: Chal Suicide kar le

Banta: Saale, Pagal Ho Gaya Hai ??

Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru karna padega?

Husband: Meri shirt ulti karke press karna.
Wife: Ok.

After 10 minutes

Husband: Meri shirt press ki?
Wife: Nahi…

Husband: Kyun?
Wife: Mujhe Ulti nahin aa rahi hai!

Santa Underwear khareedne gaya…

Dukandar ne use 300 Rs ki mast underwear dikhayi.

Price sunkar Santa bola:

“Yaar roj pehenne wala dikhao, Party wear nahin chahiye”

Pati: Priye, Kya tum mere sath Yoga Class chalna pasand karogi?
Patni: Tum kehna kya chahte ho, main kya moti ho gayi hoon?

Pati: Koi baat nahin, Ichcha nahi hai to mat chalo.
Patni: Matlab main aalsi hoon?

Pati: Arey tum gussa kyun kar rahi ho?
Patni: Matlab main hamesha jhagadti hoon!

Pati: arey maine aisa kab bola?
Patni: Matlab ki main jhoothi hoon!

Pati: achcha baba, Main nahin jaata hoon!
Patni: Main sab samajthi hoon, Darasal, tum le jana hi nahin chahte the…

Pati ne chup rehne mein bhalaayi samjhi aur phir so gaya!

Santa: Aap mujhe sanskrit seekha do,

Pandit: kyun?

Santa: Devtaao ki bhasha hai, Swarg mein jaroorat padegi

Pandit: Agar nark gaye to?

Santa: Punjabi to aati hi hai…

Wife ambulance ko 108 per call karti hai.

Operator: Aapko kya samasya hai?
Wife: Mere pair ki ungli coffee table se takra gayi hai.

Operator: haste hue aur iske liye aap ambulance bulana chahati hain.
Wife: Nahi, ambulance to mere pati ke liye hai, use hasna nahi chahiye tha naa..




Biwi ko samjhna matlab:

32 GB ka koi ek Video
2G network par download karna..

aur 31.95 GB download
hone ke baad….

Aakhir mein error dikhnaa!!!

means…. Impossible!!!

Bhari Sardi mein Biwi Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli To Uska Pati Use Ghoor Raha Tha!

Biwi Romantic Hokar Boli: Kya Iraada Hai?

Pati Ne 2 Thappad Maare aur Bola “Mere Garam Pani Se Kyu Nahayi”

Ek Kamina Bachha apni Toy Train se khel rha tha aur Bar-Bar bol raha tha,

Jis HARAMI ko chadna hai chad jao…

Jis KAMINE ne utarna hai utar jao…

.

Aise bolta dekh, Uske BAAP ne uski train rok ke, usko ek zor se thappad laga diya !!

.

Bachha thodi der rokar chup ho gaya aur fir shuru ho gaya,

Jis HARAMI ko chadna hai chad jao…

Jis KAMINE ne utrna hai utar jao…

Pehle hi kisi KUTTE ki wajah se Train 10 min late ho gayi hai..!!

Bacha maa se –
Mom ye pregnant kya hota hai

Mom ne gusse se dekha toh wo samja ki gusse ko pregnant kehte hai…!!

2nd day bachcha school se aate hue
ek ladki ke upar gir gaya…!!

Ladki ki maa Chilla kar boli :
Ye kya badtameezi hai???

Bacha bola:
Gira teri beti ke upar hoon Aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai..!!

Mom – Pappu Beta.. Haath jal gaya,
jara Tooth paste lana..

Pappu – Nahin maa,
Mere tooth paste me namak hai,
Duniya wale sochege,
Bete ne Jale pe namak chhidak diya…

2 dost jungle mein ja rahe the,

Jab raat ho gayi to wo dono raaste mein hi Tent laga ke so gaye.

RAAT ko 1 dost ki aankh khuli..

Usne doosre ko jaga ke kaha
Aasman ki taraf dekh ke bata tujhe kya nazar aata hai?

2nd : Bahut saare sitare..

1st : Isse kya pata chalta hai?

2nd : Aasman khubsurat hai..

1st : Abey Newton ki aulad Tent chori ho gaya hai…! 

Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date par bulaya, wo late aayi….

Girl: Am I late ?

Ghalib: Arz hai….

Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai,

Dusri ka time ho gaya hai, tu ab aa rahi hai.

Papa: Pappu Beta, teri Mummy aaj itni chup kaise baithi hain?

Pappu Bola:

Kuchh nahin papa

Mummy ne Lipstick maangi thi…

Maine…

Maine Fevistick de di

Papa: Jug jug jiyo mere laal.. Bhagwan aisa beta sabko de

Doctor: iss dawaa ko ek hafte mein poora karo aur baad me aake milo.

Patient: theek hai doctor

(ek hafte ke baad)

Doctor: dawaa poori kha li thi?

Patient: nahi doctor.

Doctor: kyu nahi?

Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha band rakhein!

Sita ji k vanvaas jaane mein bahut badi seekh hai.

Wah wah…

Sita ji k vanvaas jaane mein bahut badi seekh hai..

arey aage to kaho….

Ghar me 3-3 saas ho to jungle hi theek hai!!!